Untitled Singularity Story: Screenplay
After high school I decided to expand my singularity story into a novel, with the original plot serving as a prologue for a larger exploration of how brain-machine interface technology would affect society. It was, of course, slow going. Too slow. I kept seeing more and more articles about new advances in the technology, and it gave me a sense of urgency. I wanted to get my story to a large audience before it became outdated, so in 2007 (I think) I changed it into a screenplay which I intended to enter in a major screenwriting contest. I finished it just in time for the deadline, but didn’t end up submitting it because of issues involving the entry fee. And I’m glad I never turned it in, because it's awful.
In my defense, I wrote the thing in sort of a rush to meet the contest deadline. Whenever I write something in a rush it turns into a sitcom, with all the characters becoming sarcastic smart asses. That’s the first problem.
The second problem is the ending. The time travel thing was always part of my vision; it was supposed to be a graphic illustration of humanity destroying itself, rather than being destroyed by some inhuman “other”. In retrospect, though, it undermined the larger purpose of the story. I wanted to make more people take cyborgs and artificial intelligence and killer robots seriously instead of writing them off as science fiction, and you can’t accomplish that with a story that ends in time travel.
None of that matters, though, because the story loses all credibility much earlier on, when “respected” reporter Janice Randall stumbles ass backwards into a government cover-up. What the hell does she care if the soldiers are wearing hats? Why would Grayson show off his hardware so easily? How does a quick peek at a non-descript metal cap lead Janice to the people that made it? And, most importantly, how could I be so stupid?
In my defense, I wrote the thing in sort of a rush to meet the contest deadline. Whenever I write something in a rush it turns into a sitcom, with all the characters becoming sarcastic smart asses. That’s the first problem.
The second problem is the ending. The time travel thing was always part of my vision; it was supposed to be a graphic illustration of humanity destroying itself, rather than being destroyed by some inhuman “other”. In retrospect, though, it undermined the larger purpose of the story. I wanted to make more people take cyborgs and artificial intelligence and killer robots seriously instead of writing them off as science fiction, and you can’t accomplish that with a story that ends in time travel.
None of that matters, though, because the story loses all credibility much earlier on, when “respected” reporter Janice Randall stumbles ass backwards into a government cover-up. What the hell does she care if the soldiers are wearing hats? Why would Grayson show off his hardware so easily? How does a quick peek at a non-descript metal cap lead Janice to the people that made it? And, most importantly, how could I be so stupid?
If all of that sounds like something you, my imaginary friend, would like to read, be my guest. I would recommend skipping pages 3-15 if you read the original story in my previous post.
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